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You Won’t believe This..............

The secretary at school runs down the hall and says, Han Bei Dou! You have a phone call. “Ni hao, wo shi Han

Bei Dou” (Hello I am Dan). “HALLO Daniel”. This is Dr. Dai. I met you on the bus last November from Suzhou.

How are you? Would you like to come to dinner with me on Friday night? Why let me check my busy schedule. It

appears that I will be able to join you doctor. When you arrive on Friday night you find out that Dr. Dai is a well

known dentist in town for a guest lecture at Nanjing Medical University. You are joined by his wife from Canada,

their kids, the head of the medical school, the head of pathology, the head of neurosurgery, the two best medical

students and a dentist from Japan who speaks neither English or Chinese. A feast ensues. Glasses are filled with

bai jiu (Chinese white liquor with about 60% alcohol) and toast after toast after toast is made. After dinner, you are

invited to meet some of the graduate students who have prepared a banquet for you across the street. You walk

across the street to a 25 story building with a huge yellow neon sign that reads, Stomicalogical Institute of

Nanjing. Your entourage enters the lecture hall and the students rise and greet you with a big round of applause.

Each of the special guests (aka all of the departmental heads, Dr. Dai, and me?) is then asked to go up on the

stage, grab the microphone and make a quick welcome speech. The speeches are followed by 2 hours of one on

one questions and answers with the medical students. You found yourself trying to explain why the United States

placed 30% tariffs on steel imports from China last week. You leave the function with a wallet full of business

cards, a dental appointment, a headache from the bai jiu and promises of more banquets in the future.

You get into a random taxi and the taxi driver reaches into his pocket and hands you your keys that you lost last

week. You had dropped your keys in the man’s taxi last week and he spent his free time riding back and forth

along the route you had travelled just to give the keys back. This actually happened to me!

You and your friend rent crappy bicycles in Chengdu on Chinese New Years Eve and one of the bikes gets a flat

tire. All of the bicycle repair carts have disappeared because of the holiday so you stop at a truck repair shop and

ask the owner for some air. He and his workers are sitting around playing cards and drinking tea. He stops

everything to tell you that his air compressor is too big for a bicycle. He tells the workers to get up and empty out

the van and load the bicycles in. He takes you back to your hotel, asking all sorts of questions along the way back

and wishing you the best of travels in China, vehemently refusing your offers of a little money for his troubles.

Your Chinese friend who just got her drivers license calls wearing a seatbelt a silly American custom. This is right

after the comment that, “I don’t use my mirrors because other people are using theirs. Why waste my eyes, I’m

too busy concentrating on driving to look when I am turning.”

This is the same person who so graciously drove me to the airport when I went to Fuzhou. She was worried the

police might stop her because her temporary license plate was expired and you also must have your license for

more than one year to drive on the highway (which she didn’t). While I am boarding the plane, I get an instant

message on my cell phone which states simply, “I got catched”. After pleading confusion and misunderstanding

to the officer, the charges were reduced from driving with an expired plate and invalid license to driving with

slippers, a 5 Yuan fine (about $1 CDN). I kid you not.

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